Small town life . . . enough to make a shy, bald Buddhist reflect and plan a mass murder
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Ask Questions for God
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Do you laugh or cry?
When someone you know decides to dump her DUI-challenged boyfriend who always needs rides. Because she wants to date a guy who has a girlfiend who's six months pregnant. I know there are heart transplants and kidney transplants and liver transplants. Maybe we could use brain or backbone transplants.
Hotdish redux
Someone asked me about the hotdish aspect of the funeral I went to last week. I am sad to say that the hotdishes were very meager. The Catholics here had nothing on on those Lutherans.
I give fashion advice
to the short, of course. This is a great bra if you're short. I've been wearing these for a couple of years and they are really comfy because they don't have some huge band that digs into your ribcage if you're stumpy. This is something I've gotten recently. It also works well for the short.
Small town life
I almost forgot to say that at the after-funeral gathering there was a bigger aray of jello dishes than I have ever seen, even in Minnesota. Amazing!
Small town life
I went to a funeral yesterday at the local Catholic Church yesterday. The mass lasted about an hour and a half. Not because a lot of people got up to speak, but because of the priest.
It was hard to stop myself from jumping up onto the pew and shouting, "Stop droning and get on with it. We all know all the Catholics are going to meet up later in heaven. How many times do we have to hear about it?" People really are afraid to die, I guess.
Annoying customer of the day
We've sold donuts at our coffee window for a while now. They're made by a bakery in Fortuna and they deliver them to us. Since the price of gas has gone up so much, they jacked the delivery fee. The owner of our place decided not to buy them, mainly because we'd have to raise our prices laughably high.
You would think that we had decided not to sell one of the essentials of life. One man said, "My wife is going to be SO mad whenshe finds out." And sure enough, a woman called on the phone having a fit about "where was she going to get her donuts?" How about right across the street from us? They sell them there too.
Seriously, if you freak out about a donut, something in your life is out of balance.
Overheard
"Green tea is just so great. It sort of neutralizes your whole body."
Death and taxes
I read this while I was filing my Cali taxes on line. "Check this box if all of the following apply." The list included "you are not deceased." If you were dead, I guess you could skip filling out the rest of the form.
Small town life
Word: if you have a big flabby butt, don't wear sweatpants with a big hole in the seat (sans underwear, of course) to the grocery store. Just trust me on this one.
Quote for today
You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people that you do.--Anne Lamott
Sign
(a huge one) in the Administration Building at College of the Redwoods:
College of the Redwoods
Information Available Here
Beyond ridiculous
A tent for your dog.
But isn't that puppy cute?
Death, death, and more death
In honor of the current importance of death, bunny suicides.
Annoying customer of the day
"Can I have a triple Americano Macchiato?"
Is it too much to ask that people just make up their minds? I guess.
