Cemetery Gates

February 27 2005

Oh, for crying out loud

Student 's yearbook picture banned because (no, she's not naked, no, there's no obscene gesture) she's wearing too many clothes. And man-type clothes at that. I suspsect it's really because some folks are afraid the picture says, "I'm a manly man." The words my son uses to explain many things about himself, as a matter of fact.

posted by: cemeterygates at February 27, 2005 21:17 | link | comments |

February 24 2005

No what left behind?

More NCLB shame. Joanne Yatvin on her experience on the National Reading Panel, whose reports were the basis of the Reading First section of NCLB legislation.

"Once I got on the panel, I was appalled to see that the panel was stacked," Yatvin said. "They made a mistake choosing me. All the end products were predetermined."

Several key members were dependent on the institute for research grants, while others were too inexperienced with classroom needs to spot the agenda, Yatvin said. Of all the members, she said she was the only one with any personal experience teaching young children to read.

Other members included a physicist, a brain-imaging researcher, the head of a business school and a middle-school teacher who had not worked with beginning readers, she said.

Leading to this surprising outcome:

And the payoff for pushing phonics programs, Yatvin said, goes to the publishers of expensive and disposable workbooks that underpin those programs. Where library books may last five years or more of heavy use, worksheet and memorization lessons must be replaced continually.

via An Old Soul.

And NCLB is unconstitutional, but, hey, that's no biggie.

posted by: cemeterygates at February 24, 2005 17:20 | link | comments (2) |

God Bless Texas

The Republic of Texas, again. And again.

"I normally wouldn't be alarmed by a few boys getting into a fisticuffs thing," Williams said. "But this is a group with a violent past in parts of Texas. However ludicrous their beliefs might sound to you and me, we can't forget that Jim Jones got a bunch of folks to drink Kool-Aid with him down in Guyana. You could shave one side of your head and have a loyal following around here by nightfall."

As long as you leave your mullet intact, I'm sure you'd have a loyal following.

posted by: cemeterygates at February 24, 2005 12:27 | link | comments |

Old story

Teens and the Constitution (okay, it's really only about the First Amendment). Maybe they could use this and this and this and this.

posted by: cemeterygates at February 24, 2005 08:14 | link | comments |

February 20 2005

Small town life

Sign on a boat on the side of the road.

FREE
DON't LEAK

posted by: cemeterygates at February 20, 2005 13:38 | link | comments (3) |

February 19 2005

My mondegreen

Believe it or not, I once thought that the Renegades of Funk was really the redneck kings of funk.

posted by: cemeterygates at February 19, 2005 17:21 | link | comments |

Word of the day

Crip crap. "Just look at all the crip crap in this garage." I learned that from an 80-year-old.

posted by: cemeterygates at February 19, 2005 17:13 | link | comments (1) |

February 17 2005

Thank you Captain Obvious

Why men fall asleep after sex. Hint: they're tired. Did someone pay this researcher? And for this advice?

'Have sex out of the bedroom, away from the usual sleeping environment, or play uplifting music - not the usual romantic sounds,' he suggested.

'Try I Feel Good by James Brown, Elvis Presley's A Little Less Conversation or Britney Spears's Toxic."

posted by: cemeterygates at February 17, 2005 21:00 | link | comments |

February 13 2005

Happy Valentine's Day

All about the science of kissing.

Heart and lungs: Epinephrine and norepinephrine from the adrenal glands cause the heart to beat faster and elevate the blood pressure. This allows more oxygen to be acquired. Breathing may become deep and irregular. During a kiss, the heart can sometimes beat twice as fast as normal. Endorphins can also cause the pulse to race.

I'm not too sure about the part about politely pecking Aunt Fanny, though.

posted by: cemeterygates at February 13, 2005 18:49 | link | comments |

February 11 2005

Annoying co-worker of the day

She asked me which of the four coffeepots has the decaf coffee in it. Er, the one that has "DECAF" printed all over it.

posted by: cemeterygates at February 11, 2005 19:18 | link | comments (1) |

February 10 2005

Small town life

When I'm out on foot, I sometimes see a green Mustang convertible complete with spoiler with a "Prince" sticker across the windshield parked a few blocks from my house. I assumed it belonged to a fangirl or fanboy. But then I saw it parked next to another Mustang, a pink one complete with spoiler, with a "Princess" sticker across the windshield. How thrilling to have royalty in the neighborhood.

posted by: cemeterygates at February 10, 2005 07:35 | link | comments (2) |

February 6 2005

Overheard conversation

My daughter said, "I don't know why everyone hates the French."

My son answered, "The Spanish don't hate the French. France is a speed bump between them and Germany."

posted by: cemeterygates at February 06, 2005 10:52 | link | comments |

February 5 2005

Yes!

"You don't need ten different Dave Matthews Band stickers to tell me that you have bad taste in music; one will work just as well. "

And other funny stuff from The Village Idiot..

Seriously, I get some that chicks (non-Heartless Bitches, of course) like Dave Matthews. But why would any self-respecting man listen to Dave Matthews? Seriously.

posted by: cemeterygates at February 05, 2005 15:54 | link | comments |

February 4 2005

Fun for a Friday night

Oxymoronica.com.

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