Cemetery Gates

Small town life . . . enough to make a shy, bald Buddhist reflect and plan a mass murder

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I'm all for teaching DUH
in America's schools!

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January 30 2005

Some people don't even know how brilliant they are

Like Keith Olbermann's non-fans.

“I showed respect even though I disagreed with you and yet you have the audacity to call me intelligent.”

That's in the "More fun wiht Dobson's spammers" section.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 30, 2005 22:20 | link | comments (1) |

January 29 2005

Stick figures

Stick figures in the news. Harry Potter stick figures. LOTR Two Towers stick figures.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 29, 2005 21:46 | link | comments (3) |

I love beer

A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 29, 2005 21:35 | link | comments |

January 26 2005

Death

Medical examiner realizes man still alive.

A medical examiner studying a body in a morgue was taken aback when he saw the man take a shallow breath.

That's enough to make someone scream.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 26, 2005 21:55 | link | comments |

Never underestimate

the power of stupid people in large groups.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 26, 2005 21:50 | link | comments (2) |

The Bible is a badly xeroxed chain letter

And yes, the newest xerox will be advertised in Rolling Stone. Zondervan's Today's New International Version.

Then a new batch of critics might be heard from: theologians who disagree over the actual translation.

When Zondervan released the TNIV New Testament in 2002, some scholars and clergy complained that it went beyond updating language, to revising God's word as well.

Zondervan says it welcomes the debate and will be mailing the full Bible to 118 critics next month.

via Bookslut.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 26, 2005 18:41 | link | comments (1) |

Is there an award for this?

A groper, this time a judge, resigns.

A New Hampshire judge who was suspended for groping five women at a conference on sexual assault and domestic violence resigned on Wednesday, the same day a committee recommended he not get his job back.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 26, 2005 18:15 | link | comments (2) |

January 24 2005

The classics is important

The greatest essay ever written. On Oedipus.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 24, 2005 13:34 | link | comments (2) |

January 21 2005

Prepare to lose your mind

Don't say I didn't warn you.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 21, 2005 17:38 | link | comments (2) |

January 20 2005

Get in shape

Since it's January and lots of folks are making resolutions, how about Air Guitar Aerobics? But don't wear this. Or any spandex. Just trust me on that.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 20, 2005 12:06 | link | comments |

January 19 2005

Be afraid

School police in Duval County, Florida's middle and high schools are the latest to get tasers.

A policy being drafted by the Sheriff's Office said the weapons should not be used on pregnant women or suspects in control of a motor vehicle, suspects in danger of falling from an elevated location or suspects near a pool, lake or flammable liquid or fumes. They also should not be used on animals.

The proposed policy does not mention any limitation on students.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 19, 2005 07:14 | link | comments (2) |

To your health

The Mistress now has links to health research. Stumpblog.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 19, 2005 06:31 | link | comments |

January 16 2005

Crafty

I've been knitting a sweater and I'm getting close to the end, so I've been looking for something new to make. This has to be it. A fry up beret.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 16, 2005 17:47 | link | comments |

Bumpersticker

"Jesus loves you
Whether you like it or not"

He sounds like a freaking stalker.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 16, 2005 14:58 | link | comments |

January 15 2005

I think we need more vocational schools

Especially in light of this career day advice for middle schoolers in California (in Palo Alto, no less.

Management consultant William Fried told girls at a school in Palo Alto, Calif., on Tuesday that they could earn $250,000 US or more a year by stripping and exotic dancing – depending on their bust size.

Fried has given a popular presentation called The Secret of a Happy Life at the Jane Lathrop Stanford Middle School for three years.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 15, 2005 08:01 | link | comments |

Still left behind or still crazy after all these years?

A review of Tim LaHaye's latest oeuvre is up at the Revealer. Great analysis of how he intersperses entertainment with fundy life advice. The appealing blend of fun and easy answers is one of the things that I think pulls Christians away from traditional churches.

I have to say I never made it past the first 6 chapters of the first book of Rapture series because it was so dreadful. But the black and white world view dominated the bit I read.

And as far as science goes (our intrepid hero is a Biblical archeologist, btw):

This is merely Lahaye sending a clear signal to the reader: Their faith is not shy of science, because their faith is supported by science. The trappings of science are brought into The Secret on Ararat whenever possible to confirm religious “truths.” For instance, the chunk of wood found by Murphy is carbon-dated, and on the strength of that result, it is somehow reasoned to be an Old Testament artifact.

From here, though, the fact-fiction relationship grows insidious. The standard science of carbon-dating and of oxygen molecules is one thing; but Lahaye introduces a science-religion hybrid that many evangelicals will read as pure science, and which most atheists will view as pure bunk. For instance, midway through the novel, Murphy learns that the chunk-of-Ark wood (which gets some serious mileage in this story) contains no potassium 40. In the sort of implausibly polemical dialogue that runs through the novel, Murphy ponders aloud: “Potassium 40 is found in just about everything. It’s one of the things responsible for the aging process. For this piece of wood to have almost no traces of Potassium 40 would mean there was very little of it around in the pre-flood world. Which would make sense since it was normal for people to live for hundreds of years prior to the flood. After the flood, however, people’s life spans were reduced to where they are today.”

Eureka! And so another Biblical mystery is explained in terms of everyday science, and LaHaye's believers go home happy, their faith fortified. It doesn’t matter that such reasoning is strictly unscientific; it only matters that it sounds scientific enough to persuade Christian conservative readers that they’ve just added a fresh quiver to their arsenal of weapons against the secular world.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 15, 2005 07:47 | link | comments (1) |

January 14 2005

College

I can tell you what difference I think going toWesleyan made for me, but if I were going to be skeptical about my own recollections, I might wonder if I would be attributing to a coherent institutional design the accident of my encounter with particular individual professors and a certain amount of auto-didactic effort which was made easier by the ambiance of the general environment and associated resources. Hanging around with a bunch of smart peers and smart teachers in a materially bountiful environment might help most people to form and sharpen their intellects and skills, but I’m not entirely sure that most colleges and universities are entitled to strongly claim that the good results of that process systematically derive from the careful design of their four-year programs.

from Timothy Burke. There's more interesting stuff, I'm just to lazy to write about it.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 14, 2005 12:41 | link | comments |

January 13 2005

Oh Canada

You must sign up for this course (via Cobranchi). So you can prepare yourself for Canadian World Domination. I think they can't miss with that Aeschylus quote on the front page and all. Now if they would just learn how to spell Aeschylus.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 13, 2005 20:56 | link | comments |

Ow my aching brain

"I think people attack me because they are fearful that I will then say that you're not equally as patriotic if you're not a religious person," Mr. Bush said. "I've never said that. I've never acted like that. I think that's just the way it is. "

With words of wisdom like this why should we worry about things making sense?

posted by: cemeterygates at January 13, 2005 20:49 | link | comments |

Everything you want to know about evolution

quite a lot, anyway. Complete with lesson plans too.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 13, 2005 20:47 | link | comments |

January 12 2005

Small town life

I was cleaning out my inbox and saw an old message from my local freecycle group with this subject line:

Offered: small stand up organ.

Yes, some desperate person did take it.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 12, 2005 19:20 | link | comments |

I'm practically perfect in every way

Er, according to my eye doctor, anyway.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 12, 2005 12:03 | link | comments (1) |

January 10 2005

I can't believe it

I learned something new today. When you play Quiddler and use all the cards, they turn over again and spell "YOU WIN."

posted by: cemeterygates at January 10, 2005 19:03 | link | comments |

The idiots are taking over

Unfortunately, I didn't see this. But my husband did. A woman maneuvering her car through the Safeway parking, talking on her cell phone, lighting a cigarette. With an Aim-n-Flame barbeque lighter.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 10, 2005 18:30 | link | comments |

January 9 2005

Life incompetents

That's what a study of kids in Britain calls them. Kids who don't have basic life skills.

A NEW generation of children is growing up as "life incompetents", unable to sew, care for their clothes, or even realise that potatoes are boiled before being mashed.

I think one try at mashing unboiled potatoes would be enough to teach just about anyone.

via No. 2 Pencil.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 09, 2005 20:01 | link | comments |

They're taking over

As religion takes the stage, a boon for the local faithless.

The Council for Secular Humanism, for instance, which describes itself as "North America's leading organization for nonreligious people," has experienced an "explosive" growth in membership since the election, according to its chairman, Paul Kurtz. And Barry Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, a Washington-based religious watchdog group, described what was happening in New York as "a response from people who are frightened that the evangelical right is literally trying to take over the country."

posted by: cemeterygates at January 09, 2005 19:31 | link | comments |

January 8 2005

Save the world

from astrology .

"Now that the season of goodwill has passed, let's make a plea for greater intolerance (carefully directed) in the world. The next time a woman (and it is always a woman - men have many flaws but at least they prefer to seek the answers to their problems in Top Gear and Abi Titmuss rather than the waxings and wanings of the moon) asks you what star sign you are, swears by essential oils, magnet therapy or talks about realigning anything but shelves, make a stand. Back her into a corner and talk at her about Galileo, Darwin, Einstein, Crick and Watson and Jeremy Paxman until she admits the error of her ways. For astrology and the rest to flourish it is only necessary that those with an IQ in double figures do nothing."

posted by: cemeterygates at January 08, 2005 19:46 | link | comments |

One question

The Edge's annual question is up. It is "What do you believe is true even though you cannot prove it?"

I particularly liked this part of Alison Gopnik's response:

"I believe, but cannot prove, that babies and young children are actually more conscious, more vividly aware of their external world and internal life, than adults are. I believe this because there is strong evidence for a functional trade-off with development. Young children are much better than adults at learning new things and flexibly changing what they think about the world. On the other hand, they are much worse at using their knowledge to act in a swift, efficient and automatic way. They can learn three languages at once but they can't tie their shoelaces."

There are several ruminations about god and not god.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 08, 2005 19:06 | link | comments |

January 7 2005

Am I surprised?

Not too much.

"The Bush administration paid a prominent commentator to promote the No Child Left Behind schools law to fellow blacks and to give the education secretary media time, records show.

A company run by Armstrong Williams, the syndicated commentator, was paid $240,000 by the Education Department. The goal was to deliver positive messages about Bush’s education overhaul, using Williams’ broad reach with minorities."

Williams said “Even though I’m not a journalist — I’m a commentator — I feel I should be held to the media ethics standard. My judgment was not the best. I wouldn’t do it again, and I learned from it.”

Aww, that's so reassuring.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 07, 2005 17:48 | link | comments |

"I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library."

- Jorge Luis Borges

That's where I'm going today.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 07, 2005 14:00 | link | comments |

January 6 2005

End of the Century

is opening this week in the UK. The Guardian interviews Tommy Ramone and reviews the movie a bit.

'The result is one of the bleakest films ever made about rock music, an unsettling cautionary tale about the benefits of quitting while you're ahead. Even Erdelyi, who claims he maintained "cordial" relations with the band after his departure, admits to being "shocked" when he saw it. "I went to every gig, but they were in their glory on stage. I didn't know they had such rough times," he frowns. "I had no idea of the suffering they went through."'

posted by: cemeterygates at January 06, 2005 07:19 | link | comments |

January 5 2005

Quote for the day

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he entitled to happiness?

--Stanislaw Lec

posted by: cemeterygates at January 05, 2005 18:31 | link | comments |

January 4 2005

I so wish this was true

Belgium doesn't exist. Because of this. Just kidding!

posted by: cemeterygates at January 04, 2005 20:54 | link | comments |

January 3 2005

1/3/5

It's Odd Day today. It only happens once every 100 years.

posted by: cemeterygates at January 03, 2005 19:39 | link | comments (1) |

January 1 2005

Stuck in Lodi again

Wackiest police calls of the year in Lodi.

My son's favorite:

April 5, 4:53 p.m.: Two females armed with golf clubs were fighting at Bellflowers Apartments, 205 Daisy Ave. They were separated by the time police arrived.

Mine:

June 2, 5:02 p.m.: A juvenile duct taped to a chair was seen running south on Mills Avenue.