Small town life . . . enough to make a shy, bald Buddhist reflect and plan a mass murder
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Ask Questions for God
at the Blue Pyramid.
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visited *loading* times
The dead
A woman drove her dead mom around in her car for days.
"Police went to investigate when other shoppers complained about the odour coming from the parked car."
Freedom of the press
"What the US papers don't say" from the Guardian.
"Perhaps the difference between the US coverage and that elsewhere should have been expected. CBS admitted it had come under severe pressure from the Pentagon not to broadcast the images, and the issue of what is and what is not fit for US public consumption has been an ongoing theme, applicable to events both domestic and foreign."
Is anyone surprised?
Way wrong
My son (14) just got spam titled "Menopause got you down?"
Annoying customer of the day
A woman I've never seen before wants to buy a $1.25 cup of coffee. But she only has a dollar and wants to "like, owe" me a quarter. Sure and, can I, like, owe you $200?
Linkydink
Just added Diotima to my links. Much linky goodness about women and gender in the ancient world (Greek and Roman, pretty much).
Teaching a woman to read and write? What a terrible thing to do! Like feeding a vile snake on more poison. --Menander
"behind this moment is silence, years of silence"*
From feminizm_news. Dorothy Allison writes about feminism, language, and books that change our lives.
"I became a feminist because I wanted answers that were not easy moralisms. I became a feminist because I had been a Baptist. And let me tell you, when you leave Baptists, you are leaving some serious shit."
*That is from Two or Three Things I Know for Sure.
Dykes and mullets
I never knew that the official lesbian 'do was the mullet. From Sexing the Political.
"I really love the look of a white trash boy that the long hair in back provides. I have reclaimed my white trash roots by bringing back the mullet."
Not just for tiny people
Tiny fiction. Some of the stories are available on-line, including "Latin," and oddly enough, "Welcome to Ferndale."
Aw, why's everybody always picking on me?
Alexis Petridis reviews Britney Spears' show at Wembley in the Guardian.
"The idea was presumably to convince the world that Spears was not just a fading teen star. The idea has succeeded, although not perhaps in the manner intended: most observers are now convinced Spears is not just a fading teen star, but a certifiable lunatic to boot."
Britney's own description of the show:
"Thoughts of happiness that lies within everyone tranquillises your being of being who you be of this forbidden picture of what you are supposed to show."
Er, huh, wha..., say again?
Where do mummies go if they want to swim?*
Ripped from Sheol. Mummified cat. The rat I saw looked just like this, only more rat-like, obviously. Unfortunately, I didn't have the opportunity to pose it for some cute photos.
*The Dead Sea.
Must separate the church and skate
From Positive Atheism's Big Scary List of George W. Bush Quotations:
I appreciate that question because I, in the state of Texas, had heard a lot of discussion about a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state.
-- George W. Bush, proving that he has it backwards: it's a "wall" separating religion from government, not a "bridge" joining the two, January 29, 2001, quoted from Jacob Weinberg, "The Complete Bushisms"
War and Peace
On Weekend Edition on Saturday morning there was a little interview with the very articulate high school student Jason Popps, who is participating in a Philosophy Slam in Minnesota. They're debating a Big Idea, whether war is inevitable. But it was funny when Scott Simon asked about what would happen during the competition and he said, "I know that we'll have to read our essays to a panel of judges and a live audience." Poor dead judges.
The 50 man march
Republicans on the march in Santa Cruz.
"The marchers met some opposition. One man threw a bucket of ice on the group and ran away. A passenger in a convertible dropped his pants, presumably a sign of disapproval."
Presumably.
Super sale
I was trying to figure out this mystery, so I was looking around at the Dalkey Archive Press site and saw they are having a sale. 100 books for $500.
My Bronte obsession
Charlotte Bronte said, "It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it."
From Minnesota Public Radio's Writer's Almanac. It was Charlotte Bronte's birthday last Wednesday. I am rereading Shirley right now.
Small town life
The landlord was working on the bathroom in the apartment above the shop today. He had to go through the shop ceiling to fix pipes that run between the two floors. When he got up in there he pulled out a dessicated rat and showed it to me. He said, "I think I'll just leave that there" and put it back in the ceiling.
Annoying customer of the day
Not a coffee customer, but one of my house cleaning customers. This man is 86 and blind. He wanted me to fix the pull-cord on his ceiling fan. No problem. But he also wanted to "help" me by holding onto me when I was on the stepladder so I wouldn't fall down. Sorry, but I don't really think having a blind guy holding onto my ass will help my balance.
Read this book
The Polish Complex. By Tadeusz Konwicki.
I no longer strive to be understood. I no longer depend on your approval, your sympathy. Now I write only because I must. I do not believe anyone will read what I write and understand it as fully as I did while struggling with the resistant, constricted, ephemeral words.
And oddly, Powell's has it listed as "American Literature." Weird.
The Master of Mope
It looks like Irish Blood, English Heart is might get some airplay here.
I'm not wearing my mind-reading cap
"I don't practice Santeria, I ain't got no crystal ball," and no, I don't know what you want to drink just by looking at you. And I especially don't know what "You know, that drink that's a kind of, uh, coffee," means.
Homeschooling
Making the rounds on homeschooling lists right now. From Harper's Index.
"Chance that an American adult believes that 'politics and government
are too complicated to understand': 1 in 3
Chance that an American who was home-schooled feels this way: 1 in 25"
~~ Harper's Magazine, May 2004 issue
For idiots like me
Fear of physics. I even used to believe that gravity pulled everything toward the South Pole. I couldn't understand why objects didn't slide toward the southern hemisphere, then fall off the "bottom" of the world when I was a kid.
The perfect hostess gift
Wash away your sins towelettes. From the always sacred Miss Poppy Dixon
Nice contrast
to this I posted earlier. Alfie Kohn's essay " How Not to Get into College."
When I finally finished speaking, I looked into the audience and saw a well-dressed boy of about 16 signaling me from the balcony. “You're telling us not to just get in a race for the traditional rewards,” he said. “But what else is there?”
It takes a lot to render me speechless, but I stood on that stage clutching my microphone for a few moments and just stared. This was probably the most depressing question I have ever been asked. This young man was, I guessed, enviably successful by conventional standards, headed for even greater glories, and there was a large hole where his soul should have been.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
We hired a very nice guy and his very nice girlfriend to help haul some things from my mother-in-law's to our house. Now they are helping us cut down a hedge at our place before we put up a new fence. The girlfriend was telling my daughter that they were similar because they both have very long legs, which is true. She turned to me and said, "See, my legs come all the way up here, to my hips." Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that's true for most people.
Thundering son of a sea-gherkin!
I just caught this bit of old news. 10 Euro coin featuring TinTin and Snowy. More of Captain Haddock's curses.
What the . . .?
Summer camp to prepare your college applications? A little more than a week for over $2295 for the cheapest one. And you can learn not to touch your hair or fidget during an interview.
"School counselors just can't give kids the kind of service we can," said Marcia Evans, the company's executive director, "and the educational counseling industry has gotten enormous. I think parents have as much angst or more than the kids. Part of our program is to help kids get a little distance and demystify the process. It's a very intense program, but the kids gobble it up and ask for more."
It's cold
My younger daughter told me her feet were so cold that she had toesicles.
Mother Shock
This book looks pretty cool. And you can get essays from the book sent to you next month by signing up here.
Unbelievable
By way of Dooce. I cannot believe this page even exists. You might not want to go there if you're eating something right now.
A tit off the top
Fankly, I'm so clumsy I'd be afraid of hurting myself with a pair of scissors if I worked in a topless barber shop called A Bit Off the Top.
Former lap-dancers who are trained hairdressers have been recruited to work in the Canal Street salon.
I do like the name of the minister quoted, Reverend Tom Cant. Cant: hypocritically pious language.
Dear God
You know, you just have to draw the line somewhere. Like in Colorado, where the Governor refused to extend a welcome to the massive gathering of 150-200 atheists who were meeting there. I mean, atheists have to have something to do over Easter since they aren't hanging out in church or beating up the Easter bunny.
Dead Latin
NPR's Weekend Edition had a talk with Elaine Fantham on why learning Latin is a good thing. "The capacity for logical argument" for one. And the ability to read ribald poetry. She does have to explain to Scott Simon how ribald it actually is.
Requiescat in pace
It's been two years since Joey Ramone died. Even Totally Jewish marks this anniversary. Ultimate geeks, the Ramones played undeniably American music.
He's baaaaack
Do the happy dance.
It's the Johnny Lakeport crappy flash game
Shoot Harry Potter heads to get to the liquor store.
Remembering the dead
Have you got someone's ashes lying around and about $7000 to spare? You could have them made into a LifeGem. Just don't drop them down the disposal.
Planned Parenthood Rocks
For your amusement, check out Right Wing Eye. More on the March for Women's Lives, the war on choice, and the courts here.
Small town life
I'm whining about my local paper again. My husband went to buy a copy of our weekly rag at the corner store today. The clerk said, "I'm telling everyone not to buy the paper, it's not worth it!" The editor is out of town and the paper is just a collection of old news--like stories from 1918.
Secretary Rumsfeld
Rumsfeld will be celebrating Secretary's Day.
"Whether it's a card, a Mylar balloon, or a big decorated cookie, it's really nice for someone to say 'Good job. I notice what you do,'" Rumsfeld said.
More Rummy
A Rummy mosaic. From uncreative.
Crap movies
My son's ultimate insult to crap movies.
I'd rather watch Gigli than (insert movie name).
Small town life
Last summer this guy named Chris Barry was arrested for a marijuana grow near here. He got community service and a fine. Then this February he's arrested again for, guess what, a bigger marijuana grow. Since he now is actually facing some jail time, he wrote letters to the editor of our local paper from jail about how sorry he is. Apparently, the guy inherited a 600-acre ranch, couldn't make a go of his construction business, declared bankruptcy, moved up to Petrolia and then thought, "hey, I'll grow some dope!" In the meantime, he's showing up at the county fair and local parades with his stagecoach and impressing the locals with his "flamboyance."
Now what's really funny to me is that our local paper, the Ferndale Enterprise, ran another sympathetic story about him this week. A rare piece of journalism, in which he is described as
Popular, good-looking, and with a voice and the charisma of a top-ten country music star, Petrolia rancher Chrisopher Barry finds out today what his sentence will be for being caught for the second time growing marijuana with plans to sell it.
It goes on from there, describing the poor guy's many financial hardships in loving detail. I'd respect the paper a little more if the story didn't sound some middle-aged woman's wet dream. And if the editor/writer was more consistent when it comes to her "let's protect our children from drugs" line. I suppose she's happy the guy didn't sell his dope to any of her kids, if she thinks that far.
The DA says he may serve part of his sentence at the Eel River Conservation Camp. If he does, maybe he'll be able to organize a really big grow there.
An Easter gift
(Deliberate) bad Fanfic called Wicked, Wanton Lust.
'Oh,' she thought again, tossing her tawny tresses and dabbing her fascinating mismatched eyes (one emerald and one violet eye to die for) with a hanky, 'Never will I see my love, ever again!' Ares, the War god, had come to her as a golden shower, marking her as his and filling her life with a passion and warmth heretofore unbeknownst to her.
And if you have time on your hands, there's always Godawful Fan Fiction for real bad fanfic. And Mary Sue Whipple for parody. I love the awards section, especially the "I wouldn't piss on this website if it was on fire" award.
Annoying customer of the day
Man who asked, when I told him the price of a donut, "Is that negotiable?" NO!
Freak me out!
If you want to be freaked out, look at this:
This is a fan site for "female" fans of Rusmfeld. You can even download pics! I kid you not, hundreds of pictures of Rumsfeld. And for the truly er, excited, how about a Yahoo group? Gack, I just don't know how these women looking for a sex god can choose between Rumsfeld and, say Fabio.
I once was lost but now I'm found
Or my Special Beat Service CD was lost anyway. Listening to it again I remembered how much I like"Jeannette." Just the idea of making rhymes with Jeanette is so strange. And the accordion is good too.
All set luncheonette,
kitchenette to let
I bet to get hamburgerette again.
We met in a launderette and kissed beneath the air jet
No threat no sweat
Another one in the back of the net.
When I met Jeanette,
Substitute Ronette,
She said "Will you remember?"
Said I could never forget her
Au naturalette,
Her mom's a millionette
So we shared one last cigarette and swapped false addresses,
Jeanette
And yes, I know I'm one of the 4 people on the planet who likes ska.
Higher Ed
Colleges that Change Lives. Coming soon to a city near you.
We promise to not bore you with a session about how to apply for college, what to expect during a campus visit, and so forth. Rather, CTCL deans and directors will share with you the latest research on specific campus characteristics and learning components that lead to the most successful college experience. They will challenge you to view popular college rankings as just one measure of quality, among many, and encourage you to make the college search process a well-informed journey that leads to the best possible outcome: finding the best college fit—a fit that could be life changing.
I love the Antioch logo, by the way. They've got that anarchist thing going on.
Funny, funny, funny
Just found this great weight training site for chicks. The Lies in the Gym is classic.
The other day, reading a fitness magazine, I learned that yoga will firm my breasts (it won't, unless they meant to write "plastic surgeon" instead of "yoga"), and that over 90% of all long term exercisers exercise in the morning (oops, I guess all the evening regulars at the gym are just fooling themselves).
Annoying customer(s) of the day
People who say, "What's the matter, don't you have a sense of humor?" when you don't laugh at their so-called jokes. Yes, that might be true. Or it could be that you're just not funny, moron!
If I hear "I like my coffee black and strong, like I like my women" one more time from one more stupid honky redneck shitkicker, I think I'll just have to puke all over him.
Strange days
After thinking about it for a while, I have come up with this brilliant theory about why there is confusion around here about Easter. I think these confused folks are Submarine Xians who have become disoriented during one of their two annual surfacings (Christmas and Easter).
Easter candy
How they make Cadbury and Peeps. And for adults only, of course, Peeps porn.
Midget-sized
I bought these clothes today that are supposed to be petite size. I still had to shorten everything. The following is what I don't understand. A petite woman is supposed to be 5'4" or shorter. I'm about 5' and I had to cut 4 inches off the legs of a pair of pants and 2 inches off the sleeves of a shirt. So does that mean the clothes are really made for someone who's 5'6"? I think they should make something that actually fits really short people and just call it extra petite or super petite or ultimate petite.
Small town life
People here seem to be having a hard time figuring out when Easter happens. I saw the flyers for the annual Easter Egg Hunt up around town today. The flyer said the hunt is on Saturday, April 11.
Black humor
Of course some people are all upset about this suicide window display at a print shop.
The display at Special Effects, a video and printing store in this northeast Ohio village, shows empty beer cans on the floor near an overturned table below dangling legs meant to look like a person who hanged himself.
On a nearby table is a short, scrawled suicide letter on a piece of notebook paper -- and another note that's lengthy and professionally printed.
A sign reads, ``Contemplating suicide? Let Special Effects give your suicide note that professional look.''
Sick as a dog
My son had the stomach flu. He told me it was cool because vomit came out of his nose this time, just like last time.
